This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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