ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
