Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
