I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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