I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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