worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
