It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
