nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I have aggressive nipples.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
