I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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