No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
