Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Dick very happy bro
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
