I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize