Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
