i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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