i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just found puke in my bra..
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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