Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
