so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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