I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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