found the other keg... it's in the tree
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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