We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
