She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
