the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
