They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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