Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize