is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
