He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
this will be a night to untag.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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