I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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