I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Randomize
