I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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