Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize