I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
me + whiskey = a bad person
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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