ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
