It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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