I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
