There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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