haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
This is the high leading the old right now
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
