Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
