i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
