I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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