so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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