Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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