I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
