Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
