carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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