You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
