The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
