I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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