he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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