Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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