covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
