there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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