no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
