I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
