You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
