I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
smell my finger.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
