ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
