lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
