dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
