I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
