So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
