am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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