Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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