I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
