some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
