Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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