suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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