I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
