The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
