Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
